Wild Secrets People Kept from Loved Ones
Oftentimes, those who marry into a family can end up learning that family's secrets whether they want to or not. Indeed, since it's hard not to notice that two members can't be in the same room together or that everyone avoids one person in particular, such secrets are eventually going to come up.
However, there's a difference between "open secrets" and secrets that are so unspeakable that even a person's closest loved ones don't know about them. Naturally, it can be an incredible burden to go through life without telling at least someone about these things.
The Kindest, Saddest Lie
For context, Reddit user sacris5 mentioned that their partner moved from her hometown to be with them, but that the couple periodically visited the town to support her best friend, who had a terminal case of cancer. Although they were unable to return for Christmas one year, she sent the friend a long letter with their Christmas card. He passed away soon after.
Unfortunately, it seems she had written the wrong address and the letter was returned to their house. As the Redditor wrote, "I threw it away and told her that she could have some solace in that he knew she was thinking about him before he passed. I will never tell her the truth."
Genealogy Can Be A Surprisingly Risky Hobby
While many people don't find anything particularly eventful when they send their DNA to services like 23andMe or Ancestry.com, some families can be outright ripped apart by the secrets unlocked by exploring their family tree. That's precisely why Reddit user Jealous-Network1899 intends to keep one sordid discovery under wraps forever.
As they explained, "My deceased father-in-law was married to another woman in another state when my wife was born and divorced her and married my mother-in-law within a month of her birth. They were married 40+ years when he died."
This Person Knows What's Truly Important
While this example is certainly more low-stakes than many of the others, Reddit user Sawoodster's reason for keeping one little secret from his wife is just as heartfelt. He considers her a terrible gift-giver, using a time when she gave him a music box that plays The Office theme as an example.
However, as he said, "She is easily the sweetest most caring person I've ever met, who would do anything for anyone. And when she buys gifts in her heart of hearts she really thinks she did so good, and is so proud of herself. I will die with that secret because that beautiful soul does not need to be tarnished with that."
A Hated Activity She Wouldn't Trade For The World
As Reddit user BiscottiLeading explained, she hates mini golf. This wouldn't normally be a big secret but it's how she and her husband spent their first date and while she enjoyed herself, that was because she liked him and not the activity. However, it's now become an annual tradition for their whole family.
As she said, "The kids love it, my husband talks about our first date, and the whole thing is so damn cute. But I hate mini golf. I'll never tell him, why would I, it won't do any good. After 20+ years it would just be mean. So every year I go and make the best of it. It's only fun because they're fun."
A Valid Feeling That Doesn't Feel Helpful To Express
Reddit user Dapper_Check9563 clearly had a serious emotional secret to share when they said, "I just want my wife back. I want my wife who asked how my day was. I want my wife who reached for my hand on long car rides. I want my wife who would search slowly for my body in the dark."
As it turns out, her depression has made her struggle in this department, which is something the Redditor doesn't feel right telling her because it's not her fault and she isn't neglecting her mental health. They know she loves them and is trying hard, but feels her depression has robbed them both.
A Surprise She Never Would Have Imagined
Although it seems like a high-risk long-term lie, Reddit user uscmrailroading shared an incredible reason why he's hiding half his wages from his wife. Add this to some untaxed military disability and he's apparently got over $500,000 in a secret account.
Why hide all of this? Apparently, he wants to surprise her with the knowledge that their four-year plan for a house is even more elaborate than she thought. As he said, "What she doesn't know is I bought 30 acres 3 years ago in cash. And in 5 years I'm going to have her build her dream house with custom plans to build on the land with a budget of 1.5 million."
A Truth Nobody Wants To Admit To Themselves
Although Reddit user EconomyLayer9685 only had a single sentence to share, it was a pretty devastating one: "I have never been more lonely in my life with him." Another user commiserated, saying that sleeping on opposite sides of the bed no matter how he tried to get close made him feel like an inconvenience in his own relationship.
When EconomyLayer9685 replied that this mirrored her dynamic, people were naturally quick to tell her to break up. However, it seems she finds that hard to do after spending 13 years with this person.
She Has A Husband Problem For Sure
Although Reddit user Otherwise_Ad233 shared a secret about a simple hug, the story of that hug speaks distressing volumes about the state of her marriage. As she wrote, "I'm female and asked my male coworker for a hug. He's twice my age, so to me it was a dad-hug (my own dad's dead), but my husband would consider it cheating."
This sounds like a simple matter of jealousy, but it's far worse than that. As she continued, "I had asked my husband for a hug the same day and he had refused because he wanted me to pull myself together first. My coworker saw I was a mess and agreed to hug without hesitation."
A Very Sad Situation No Matter How Much It's Dismissed
As Reddit user shutupjen explained, she's been going through a hard two years, as her sister's mental illnesses have led her to push the Redditor away and it's eating her up inside. Although her husband knows about her pain, he's been less than helpful about it.
In her words, "I can't talk to him about how much it hurts me because he just laughs it off. I talk to my therapist just so I can release some of the tears and hurt I’m feeling because I just want my sister back."
It Seems Someone Got A Little Curious
Although it's certainly nowhere near as serious as the sad secrets being shared around it, Reddit user Micahisaac confessed that he started watching Emily In Paris without waiting for his wife. He also felt it mattered to mention that they're both in their 40s.
Most people joked at what a betrayal this was, while others felt that the real dark secret at hand was that he was watching Emily In Paris at all. It is a rather polarizing show, to be fair.
They Didn't Want Their Partner To Feel Guilty
As Reddit user CommercialLast1501 shared, "I never told them how much I missed a big opportunity in my career because I didn't want them to feel guilty about needing my support." Indeed, that's a very mature and selfless secret to keep, as it's so much harder to accept help when you know what it costs someone.
Of course, the Redditor was willing to make that sacrifice for someone they love so dearly, and just as willing to forgo the validation that so many others would seek in that situation.
The Most Devastating Discovery
While Reddit user BateleurEagle was cleaning, she found an unmarked notebook that contained her husband's diary. In it, she discovered how much he lamented that an attractive co-worker would never share his feelings for her.
The problem was that this was written after the couple had already started dating, after he told the Redditor he loved her, and while they spent every weekend together. As she wrote, "It was a punch to the gut. Said he loved me but was pining after a coworker. And apparently, I'm ugly enough to be with him."
Sometimes, The Partner Finds Out The Secret Anyway
As Reddit user WildMaineBlueberry87 expressed, her only secret is her Reddit account. However, she apparently discovered that her husband had not only had an affair but carried it on for an entire decade. Surprisingly, that hasn't ended their marriage.
As for why, she took it as a good sign that he confessed to her and has been making what she considers the right decisions since. Naturally, others were still deeply concerned about the state of her relationship given what a serious and long-term betrayal this was.
These Are Sad Lengths To Go To
Reddit user darkseacreature was in a difficult situation with an ex-boyfriend, who always treated her poorly and neglected his bipolar disorder no matter how much she urged him to take his medication. So, as she explained, she took matters into her own hands until their breakup.
In her words, "So I crushed his leftover bipolar meds into his food every night so he would go to sleep and leave me alone. It was paradise while it lasted." Given the circumstances, it sounds like it's for the best that he's an ex-boyfriend.
It's Always Nice When A Secret Comes With A Pun
To understand the following secret, one must first understand that Vantablack is a particularly dark shade of black that was used to paint this BMW. As Reddit user darybrain said, their partner wanted them to use Vantablack paint for a darkroom. However, they were put off by how expensive the paint was.
So, as they said, "I only used regular Dulux black paint, however, they and everyone they show believe it is Vantablack and therefore think it is amazing. I suppose this secret is not as dark as it should be."
This Is Why People Take Cheating So Seriously
Reddit user tylderdurden801 came with the sad admission that while he mostly loves his wife, that love has permanently lessened by what he estimates at 5% since she had an affair. Although they've reconciled and done significant work on their relationship, some part of that wound will never heal.
As he wrote, "We've done a bunch of therapy, together and individually, and have reconciled and are doing well, but it's been years and at this point, I don't think that 5% is ever coming back. I kinda miss it.
Some Secrets Are Kept For Safety's Sake
As Reddit user Zombietarts shared, the secret that he kept from his now ex-girlfriend was that he had to craft an escape plan to leave her because she was stalking an ex she had mistreated, yet framed as the aggressor. On the advice of his therapist, he got out.
And a year later, she did everything to confirm that was the best decision. As he said, "After I blocked her everywhere for my own safety she would go on to harass and stalk my friends and family to get information on my whereabouts. It still affects me a whole year later."
She Can't Help The Way She Feels But Knows It's Unfair
Reddit user Alarming_Manager_332 felt guilty for this but forced herself to admit that after her partner gained significant weight, she felt less attracted to him. Although they're both working towards their own fitness goals, she hasn't shared the extent of what inspired this initiative.
Indeed, it's hard to argue with her reasoning why she hasn't been honest about this. As she put it, "It's not helpful, he doesn't need to know, and the reason he gained weight is from all the stress the past year helping support me during a court case." That case was against someone who violated her, to boot.
This Secret Was Pure, Awful Manipulation
Although Reddit user shialebeefe didn't engage in this behavior, they said they know someone who secretly got a vasectomy because his wife wanted kids and he didn't. The worst part is that even after years, he still hadn't admitted it.
As the Redditor put it, "He let her struggle on for years and even go through some fertility tests. It's one of the darkest things I’ve heard of anyone doing apart from the obvious things like murder."
This Was Understandably Hard For Him To Explain
As Reddit user Significant_Term4254 shared, he's only had one girlfriend in his life but that doesn't mean he was completely inexperienced when he met her. As he worded it, "I told my only girlfriend that she took my virginity but she didn't, a guy did. Oops."
Indeed, there turned out to be a good reason why he's only had one girlfriend in his life. After she made a revealing discovery on his phone and they broke up, he eventually found the right circumstances to come out of the closet.
No Matter How Hard It Is, Some Secrets Need Revealing
When someone is in a dark enough place to consider making the most permanent and self-destructive decision a person can, they often feel like they'd be burdening the ones closest to them with this information. However, keeping this secret only leaves these people guilt-ridden in thinking they should've seen the signs and done more to help.
For this reason, the first response Reddit user dancingglitter received was "tell them" after this person wrote, "I've been suffering from depression, anxiety and eating disorders for the most part of my life, and I'm just so done fighting. I feel terrible even thinking about it since I feel like I have a responsibility towards my partner and our pets to stay alive. But I also feel trapped with no way out."
Alarm Clocks Have Nothing On This Secret
In Reddit user rapokemon's house, mornings often seem to be a stressful time. The household always seems behind on what needs to be done and every minute counts before everybody rushes out of the door. Indeed, they seem to be a stressful time.
Yet, as the user shared, that doesn't mean they always are. As she wrote, "Sometimes I fake emergencies in the morning to help him get out of bed. He'll wake up easily to help me but if it's for himself he'll snooze his alarm 100 times and be late."
It Couldn't Have Been The Dog So He Chose This Instead
It's not unusual, if also not exactly ethical, for people in a relationship to avoid responsibility for a minor (or maybe not so minor) faux pas they committed by blaming someone else in the house. Indeed, so many people who grew up with multiple siblings are already well acquainted with this strategy.
That's what led Reddit user OneWrongTurn_XX to write, "It was me, not our son that left the toilet seat up!" There's a good chance she already knows, but maybe it felt better to tell someone anyway.
This Probably Happens In At Least One House Every Night
While people often claim to hate liars, it's also true that it's all but impossible to find someone who's never told a lie in life, nor who sees situations arise where they don't find the truth compelling. Naturally, this doesn't just apply to the big stuff in life.
As Reddit user RuthVixen70 admitted, "I've pretended to be asleep to avoid talking." It's not something that's likely to impress a partner, but it's also true that sometimes people need a night to prepare for some conversations.
A Classic Case Of Two Wrong Not Making A Right
As Reddit user daisylovesdonald explained, her boyfriend cheated on her when they were in college. Looking back on it, she feels she should have broken up with him then and there. This isn't just because she still harbored resentment but because of what that resentment compelled her to do.
She continued, saying, "Eventually I cheated back by kissing someone else bc I thought I would feel better if we were 'even.' I never told the boyfriend, and he carried guilt of being the 'cheater' in the relationship until we eventually ended it several years later. I still feel bad about that."
That Was Some Devious Maneuvering
Back when Reddit user dirtymartini83 started dating her partner, they weren't exclusive and he was upfront about seeing another woman. However, about a month of this transpired before she concocted a subtle plan to win out in this love triangle.
As she explained, "He would go silent on the nights they went out, so I decided I needed to go silent for a night. I had zero intention of going on any other dates, but let him believe I'd gone on a date. That next day, he told me he was ready to commit and years later, we are still together. I’ll take it to my grave."
Some Secrets Don't Make Sense Until The Context Is Clear
Among the big and small confessions people anonymously made to Reddit is an unusual one: Reddit user Substantial_Knee578 knows how to change her own oil. That may not seem like a stunning revelation to most people but it probably would be fairly surprising to her partner.
As for why she kept up this lie, she explained, "He just gets so excited to do it for me so I pretend. Best part is, I hate changing my oil. Win win!"
This Wasn't Even A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
When Reddit user Few-Truth7307 was in an unhealthy marriage, he found that his wife's insecurities compelled her to constantly and baselessly accuse him of cheating. Although she ended up filing for divorce, he wished he had before he became fed up enough to do what he did.
As he explained, "In the end, I confessed on something I didn't do. I fabricated a whole story because she asked for so many details. It was so bad I started mixing up the details after a few months passed leading to her not trusting anything."
At Least This Person's Making An Effort
There's a non-zero chance that this is to make them harder to triangulate in case their partner or someone else they know uses Reddit, but a user named RuthBetty484 confessed something that's small enough not to be Earth-shattering but big enough to be an understandable secret.
It's fairly simple, too. In their words, "I pretend to love their hobbies." While this is something it's best to be upfront about, that's because the effort this person is already making for their partner would be more openly appreciated.
She Clearly Learned Something Unhealthy
As Reddit user empty_wagon told it, his wife is far from nurturing when people — especially him — are sick. In the past, this was to the point of calling him lazy and attention-seeking when he was ill. She also made a point of doing chores when she was sick out of some belief that everything would grind to a halt without her.
As the Redditor explained after a particularly nasty bout of this, he intentionally coughed and sneezed on her pillows. As he continued, "Within two days she was sick to the gills and I was on the mends. She asked about me getting her some soup or a drink and my retort was that she just wasn't feeling well and not sick so she could get it herself. Silence was her response."